


Temps

by trippieseojoon



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon
Summary: Sooyoung isn’t sure if she actually likes Jungeun or not. All she knows is that her brain refuses to think about anything else but her.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Comments: 2
Kudos: 84





	1. It’s an inside storm

**Author's Note:**

> Lol. I originally wrote this as a Twice fic, but the vibes weren’t right. So, here we are.

Sooyoung isn't stupid. She's just got her hands tied. Yerim and Seeun are going to keep her here no matter what she says or does. It's so dark and there's so many people that Sooyoung's sure she could slip out somehow. But there's a tiny part of her that doesn't want to. Not yet, anyway. 

Fuck, maybe she is stupid.

Seeun has a smile on her face as she offers her a beer. Sooyoung's never been a fan of any kind of alcohol, honestly. It's disgusting. She doesn't like getting drunk, either. But Jiwoo does. So does Jungeun. 

She ends up taking the beer. 

“There's vodka and shit too.”

“It's fine! Thanks.”

The music is  _ so _ loud. It's shaking her heart in her chest. But she can tell the difference between what it’s doing and what _Jungeun_ is doing to her. Gazing at Jungeun does a bit more than make her heart beat faster. It makes her stomach churn. She's sure the hairs on her skin rise. If she looks long enough, there's an ache between her legs that always lingers longer than the time before. She's past the point of being able to control it. 

She doesn't really want to, but she should. 

Because there's Jiwoo. 

Her mouth is dry, but she can't bring her bottle to her lips as she watches them. Jiwoo's hand runs along Jungeun's waist from behind as she hugs her. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Sooyoung can't really bring herself to hate the way they stand together. She can't bring herself to hate the way Jiwoo whispers something in her ear, making her laugh. 

Jungeun has such a cute smile. It's so confusing. 

Normally, all Sooyoung can think of when it comes to Jungeun is the way her face hardens while playing basketball during gym. All she can think about is her furrowed brow when she's drawing in her notebook. She's always so stoic. Mysterious. It's sometimes scary. 

Seeing her relaxed is kind of scary too, but Sooyoung doesn't hate it. 

She doesn't hate Jiwoo, either. 

What's wrong with her? Why isn't she more jealous? What does she want from Jungeun? Just a quick fuck? She's never even had sex before. Either way, one-off hook-ups have never called her… but are they doing so now? Does she want to actually get to know Jungeun? Wanting to date her doesn't make sense. Wouldn't she be green-eyed and foaming at the mouth over Jiwoo? Being friends would be nice. Unimaginable, but nice. They can't have much of anything in common.

Jungeun is a Kim. 

Why is she even here? 

Sooyoung is able to lift her beer bottle, but she doesn't swallow the bitter liquid that caresses her tongue. She needs to before she does something dumb like drool. But Jungeun is looking at her and doing something about that is definitely priority. She can't hear the voice in her head, but she's sure it's screaming. _Look_ _away!_ Why can't she fucking look elsewhere?

Jungeun has warm eyes.

Has she always had those?

“Hey, Yerim totally just left with Jaehyun.” 

Seeun barely comes into focus, even though she's abruptly blocking her vision. 

“What…?”

“They just left together, like, five minutes ago. Hyejin told me.”

“I mean… good for her?”

“Right?!” Seeun laughs, “I can't believe she did it. She's been drooling over him for months.”

“Really?”

Yerim talks about someone new just about every other week it seems like. She doesn't like Jaehyun, not really anyway. 

“Totally. Think her luck will rub off on me?”

“Is there someone you have your eye on?”

“Yoongi, on the lacrosse team?”

Sooyoung's eyes somehow land right on him. He's messing around with some of the other guys, “Shaved head?”

“He’s hot, right?”

“I mean…”

“Just because you're a lesbo doesn't mean you can't appreciate good looks.” she teases, making Sooyoung roll her eyes.

“He's okay, I guess.”

“I'm gonna go talk to him.” 

“Good luck.”

Seeun is gone before she even finishes her sentence. She doesn't really need luck. Everyone likes Seeun. She's the social butterfly’s big, breath-taking wings. She gets  _ all _ the attention. It shouldn't be that hard for her. Sooyoung can't help but smile, looking back to see Yoongi busy talking to Seeun now. Easy.

Now would be a good time to escape. 

“Hey. Sooyoung, right?”

Her beer would've slipped out of her fingers if it hadn't been for the way Jungeun's voice made all her muscles tense. 

“Yeah.”

“Where's your friends? Didn't you come with people?”

“They, uh, they ended up doing their own thing.”

Jungeun really does have warm eyes. Maybe it's because she's drunk. She has to be getting close at least. Jiwoo has been feeding her drinks all night. Sooyoung feels creepy, not because she’s been watching them since she’d arrived— but because of the way she can’t help but take Jungeun in. 

Jungeun’s fond of them— black turtlenecks. She's wearing one of those and dark jeans. They're a snug fit. She's got that cross necklace on, like always.

“What?” Jungeun has a sheepish smirk.

“You look nice.”

“Thanks. You too.” 

“Thanks.”

Why had Jungeun come over here? She isn't saying much of anything. It doesn't make sense. They never even talk at school. Sooyoung doesn't get caught staring at school, though. There's nothing she ever needs to be confronted about. She's ready for Jungeun to tell her about the girlfriend she has. She's prepared to hear a warning of some kind. 

A lighter and a pack of cigarettes ends up in front of her.

“You smoke?”

_ Ew. _

“Sure.” 

Jungeun stuffs her hands back in her pockets, “Cool. Let's go out in the back. They have a fire going.”

There’s a fire that was going alright. It’s gone now. People are probably too wasted at this point. No one wants to tend to that. But Sooyoung is glad that it's out. No one else is hanging around it anymore. Jungeun offers her a cigarette as they sit on two of the random milk crates lying around. Sooyoung flicks the lighter once just for fun, then goes for it.

She hates smoking, but as if she’d be a bitch and not inhale.

“Alright there?” Jungeun isn't asking to tease. She seems genuinely concerned as Sooyoung coughs some more.

“Great.” 

She feels awkward, holding such an unfamiliar thing. Jungeun seems relaxed. She's focused on the starless sky above them. Sooyoung wonders if smoke always leaves people's nostrils so gracefully. She likes to think only Jungeun is capable of making something so disgusting look so attractive. 

“It feels good to be outta there. I'm not really a party person.” 

“Party person or  _ people  _ person?”

Jungeun chuckles, “Both.”

“Same. I'm only here because my friends dragged me.” 

“Same.”

“Mm… Yeah, I was surprised to see you here.”

“Why?”

“You're _Kim_ Jungeun.  Aren't you worried about your dad finding out?”

“He's not my dad. He's my step-douche. So, no. I'm not.”

“I guess you guys aren't close, then.”

She just shrugs.

“What's the… What's the female version of one of those? That's what I have.”

“Step-moms are just bitches.”

Sooyoung knows she's heard a few curse words slip out on the court during gym, but Jungeun sounds so casual now. It's funny. 

Hot, kind of. 

“You're not wrong.” she can't help but laugh.

“Why don't you like her?”

“Why don't you like your dad?”

“I mean, he’s head fucking dictator. Nothing to like.”

“Yeah, I think  _ all  _ of us feel the way you do about him.”

“I'll be glad when I get out of that place. I hate that school.”

“What about basketball?”

“I'm good at it, so I play. That's pretty much it.”

“Hm.”

The music here isn't as loud, but Sooyoung's heart is still going into overdrive. Jungeun can probably hear it, it's banging against her chest so hard. It's all her fault. So, Sooyoung hopes she can. She also hopes the carbon monoxide she's breathing in isn't trying to send her into cardiac arrest. She doesn't need to make a fool of herself again. 

“Anything you hate doing?” Jungeun asks.

“Reading.”

“Why?”

“It's boring as fuck.”

That felt good. She doesn't cuss much, but she should cuss more. Jungeun likes it. Her surprised countenance fades quickly into amusement. She's too cool for surprises, obviously. 

“I like reading about astrology.”

“Oh?”

“I bet I can guess your sign.”

“Bet.”

“You're a Virgo, right?”

Sooyoung turns her entire body to face her. Shock doesn't last long because it's believable. Jungeun being capable of such things makes sense. A smile takes Jungeun’s lips. It's gummy and a lot more cute up close. It's a lot more cute because  _ she  _ caused it. 

“That's crazy. How did you even?”

“Was just going by what I know about you. Your vibes.”

“I don't know much about my sign. How do I fit?”

“Well,” she takes a long drag of her smoke before putting it out, “you're in student gov. You're a leader. You're always on Ji’s ass about the newspaper… I don't know. You seem practical and structured. You like structure, yeah?”

“I do, actually.”

“You're shy, too. That's a big giveaway.”

“Is it?”

Jungeun just nods.

“Okay, let me guess yours.”

She laughs, “Okay.”

“You're a…. Scorpio?” 

It makes her laugh even more, “Definitely not.” 

Sooyoung doesn't mind being wrong. She honestly took a wild guess. Something about Jungeun being a Scorpio makes sense to her. It's tickling Jungeun  _ a lot _ . Being wrong is totally worth it. It feels good, smiling just because she is.

“Why Scorpio?”

“I don't know.” she can’t hold Jungeun’s gaze, “Aren't they always mysterious and intense? Always attractive.” 

“Within reason, yeah. You think I'm  _ mysterious and intense?”  _

Is she doing that on purpose, ignoring what all she said? Sooyoung would too, honestly. That was such a poor attempt at flirting. It deserves to go ignored. Jungeun's brow is arched in a knowing way. She's teasing, but her tone doesn't match her gaze. She's teasing in more ways than one.

That ache between Sooyoung’s legs is making itself known again. Wanting what she can't have shouldn't be adding fuel to the flame, but Sooyoung can't ignore how she’s enjoying it. 

“Don't forget attractive.” 

Jungeun is too. Her eyes bounce elsewhere while she tries to fix her curved lips. She forces herself up, stretching as she stands. Sooyoung knows she shouldn't pervert the way her turtleneck rides up. Her stomach is so flat. Her jeans are riding  _ so  _ low. She's still staring at her hips even after Jungeun stands normally. Her jean pockets are getting closer. It isn't until she's right in front of her that Sooyoung meets her gaze.

Slim fingers reach to touch hers. Her cigarette is gone. 

“You didn't have to smoke if you didn't want to, you know.” 

Jungeun rolls the now out cigarette between her fingertips. Tons of ash had already fallen from it. Sooyoung hadn't meant to neglect it. She feels bad for wasting one, but Jungeun doesn't seem to care. She tosses it to the ground before focusing back on her. 

Her voice doesn't quite sound the same, “Babe!”

Whatever Jungeun had been  _ about _ to say goes unspoken. Jiwoo suddenly appears and runs to hold her. She's definitely drunk. None of them know what she's laughing about. Jungeun's smile doesn't seem genuine. Her arms tighten around Jiwoo as she insists, “You need to chill.”

“I'm  _ kind _ of drunk.” Jiwoo giggles, “But it's Sejeong’s fault. She made me take shots with her.”

“Uh-huh. Are we staying the night? Because I can't fucking drive, either.” 

“Sejeong said it's fine.”

“You should go ask her what time her parents come back tomorrow.” 

“Okay. Come back inside soon, babe.”

They even kiss perfectly. Sooyoung really doesn't mind Jiwoo. The two of them looking good together is an understatement. Jungeun's eyes follow Jiwoo until she's gone. As soon as the door closes, she speaks.

“Sorry.”

“It's… You're fine.”

“Breaks from her are nice. Sometimes, she's a lot.”

“I bet.” Sooyoung doesn't know where to look with Jungeun still in front of her, “Did your step-dad find out about you guys after…?”

“Yep.” 

“Is he okay with it?”

“It doesn't matter. He's not my dad.”

“True.”

Jungeun steps back on her heel, “We should hang out more. Sometime.”

“Are you saying that because you're about to leave or do you really mean it?”

“Both.” 

“We should, though. I'd like that.”

“I can hear Jiwoo's friends talking shit about me. I don't wanna go, but I should.”

“It's fine. I should head home anyway. There's no point in me still being here.”

“Sorry your friends abandoned you.”

“Sorry for wasting your cigarette.”

Jungeun smiles before walking off. She opens the back door, but Sooyoung doesn't hear it close.

“Get home safe.”

Turning around on her crate, her lips curve automatically, “Thanks.”

Even after Jungeun’s long gone, it doesn't feel like she's left. Half a cigarette couldn't have messed her up, but her heart feels weird in her chest the rest night. 

Could that really be Jungeun's fault?


	2. with warning signs

It’s raining today. She isn’t fond of it since she has to walk home, but thanks to anxious sweating— her hair is already frizzy. Maybe the rain will help rid the grease that’s settled in it. It might calm her temper down. The student council meeting is over. It’s been over, but she’s still irate over Eunji’s decision to change their takeoff time for the school trip. The earlier they leave, the less traffic there will be. But, once again, they’re adjusting for the sake of others. Even worse, they’re adjusting for the lazy dumbasses who just don’t want to wake up early. 

It’s so stupid.

The truck speeding around the corner starts slowing down for some reason. Sooyoung tries not to stare at who’s driving it. They’re probably just looking for something…

It’s Jungeun. She has to physically roll the window down, “You walk home?”

“Sometimes. My dad can’t pick me up today.”

“Want a ride?”

“You don't have somewhere to be?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”

The rain isn’t as cold anymore. Hurrying to get in her truck, she tries fixing her hair the best she can. It feels weird, feeling nervous. There’s no reason to be. There shouldn’t be one. She doesn’t like Jungeun. That doesn’t make sense. That’s why being attracted to her is so weird. It seems like something is missing. Something too hazy to grasp onto right now, she guesses. What that something is, she’s not even sure if she wants to figure it out. 

It smells like Jungeun’s cigarettes.

“Should I just keep heading this way?” she quietly wonders as she presses down on the gas. 

Her elbow is against the window. She’s propping her head up with her hand. More tired than usual, maybe? The dark circles under her eyes look weird. They don’t belong there. Sooyoung can only imagine how tired she herself looks. Planning this school trip has been a nightmare. She just wants it to be over already.

She doesn’t mean to sigh, “Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“Fine. Just… Planning this school trip has been stupid. I’m sick of it.”

“It’ll be fun once it’s happening, but honestly I’m not that psyched about it.”

“Why? Not a camping person?”

“I’m not a people person.” she chuckles, “I already know Jiwoo’s gonna drag me all over the place.”

“It’s weird that you guys are together when you really think about it… She’s the exact opposite of you.”

“We have more in common than you‘d think, I guess.”

“Like what?”

“We’re both honor students.”

Jungeun keeps her focus on the road. It’s absurd, her answer and the fact that she’s still donning a straight face. Sooyoung’s laugh is loud given the silence of the cabin. That’s what cracks Jungeun’s facade and embarrassment shoots up Sooyoung’s neck. It’s alright, though. She’s glad Jungeun’s laughing at her. 

Having not even buckled up, she scoots so her back is resting against the car door, “Why are you dating her…?”

Genuine curiosity is there.

“I’m not sure.”

“Fair enough.”

Their eyes meet briefly before Jungeun speaks up again, “Feel like getting something to eat?” 

It’s some random burger place. Sooyoung has seen it hundreds of times, but she’s never been. Her stomach is filled with butterflies, so she isn’t even really hungry. But it’s fine. She gets a burger and fries anyway. The second Jungeun slides into the other side of the booth, she stuffs several fries in her mouth. 

“Hungry?” Sooyoung laughs.

“Fuck yeah.” she finishes chewing before saying anything else, “So… are you a ketchup or mustard person?”

“Mayo.”

“What the—? With fries or on your burger?”

“Both?”

“I knew there had to be something.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was ready to believe you were actually perfect. Everyone has their flaws, I guess.”

She shouldn’t smile so big, but she feels like the one on her lips is huge, “Okay, one. Mayo is _delicious._ Two… _I knew_ you were that kind of flirt.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“Some people only flirt when they’re comfortable.”

“You say that like it’s not a normal thing.”

Sooyoung shrugs, shoving a fry in her mouth, “It is for some people.”

“Are you one of those types? Were you comfortable the other night?”

“I don’t know. I was buzzed. So, sort of.”

“Well, so was I.”

“You tested the waters first, though. Cautious.”

Her heart is doing that thing again. She may as well be smoking a whole pack of cigarettes all at once. It’s not even Jungeun’s fault this time. Though, her gaze is making Sooyoung’s stomach flip. She’s caused her own anxiety, however. It’s like a weird high. It feels amazing, but almost too much so. This should be illegal.

“I’m not usually cautious. You just make me nervous.”

Sooyoung smirks. She feels silly as the words leave her mouth, but it isn’t the worst feeling in the world, “Is your heart pounding right now?”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you eat shit like this.”

That’s a yes. Jungeun laughs a little before focusing on her food again. It feels like there’s so much to say, but the silence feels so comfortable that speaking up just doesn’t seem right. Watching her as she eats doesn’t seem so either, but Sooyoung can’t help it. Jungeun’s covered with black again. It’s a normal sweater, one that looks unrealistically soft. The necklace is tucked away in it. 

Her and Jiwoo really are opposites.

Maybe that’s why Sooyoung can’t bring herself to feel jealous about her. It’s obvious they aren’t supposed to be together. They look good together, but it just doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t seem like it feels right, either. If it did, Jungeun wouldn’t have picked her up, right? She wouldn’t be looking at her like that. Sooyoung's been caught staring again, but she isn't ashamed about it.

It really doesn’t matter whether Jungeun is actually in front of her or not. That ache between her legs feels the same either way. Jungeun is a turn-on in any form. Under any light. Even under cheap, flickering fluorescent ones.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.” 

“Hm…” Sooyoung’s eyes don't waver, “God, I don’t know. There’s a lot.”

“Then you should be able to find something.”

“Okay, okay… I… I can’t ride a bike.”

Jungeun fails to repress her laughter, “That’s a weird go-to, but okay. You really can’t ride a bike?”

“No one ever taught me.”

It’s not that funny, but Jungeun is making her believe otherwise. They’re both laughing again.

“Okay, tell me something about you now.”

“I have a bike. It's red. Has a shit ton of stickers on it.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes, “Great.” 

“I'm more interested in hearing about you. I honestly don't have anything good to tell you, anyway.”

There's no real way to decode the look Jungeun gets in her eyes when they hold each other's gaze. Sooyoung can't find words to explain it. She can't even explain how she feels when it happens. It's a thing. Their thing. There's no way Jungeun looks at everyone like this. 

“Here's one.” Sooyoung sits back some, “If I only flirted when I was comfortable, then I'd never flirt. I flirt if I think it's worth it. Nervous or not.”

“Maybe I should start doing that, then.” 

“I mean, if you think it's worth it… Why not?” 

“Good— Good question.”

Jungeun's phone is going off. She takes her time pulling it out of her pocket. 

“What's up…? No. I wasn't planning on anything… Alright. Give me an hour or so, okay?”

It's probably Jiwoo. How cliché. 

“See ya.” Jungeun hangs up and grabs her drink, “I should probably get you home.” 

“Sounds good to me.”

The rain is gone. Now, it's just humid. If it was still raining, she'd walk just as slowly as she is now. Walking next to Jungeun is an experience all on its own. Everything with her is. Sooyoung keeps her eyes on the ground and Jungeun's hand keeps coming into view as they get back to her truck. It's not new, wanting to touch her. But all Sooyoung can think about on the ride home is holding her hand. 

She's definitely never thought about that before.

Giving Jungeun directions to her house is difficult with such an intruding thought. She feels like her eyes stay more focused on the fingers wrapped around the steering wheel rather than the road. What a silly distraction. But she's glad it exists. Does it exist because she likes Jungeun? Does she actually like Jungeun?

Sooyoung really doesn't fucking know. 

Liking someone means wanting to get to know everything about them, inside and out. It's endless thoughts and daydreams. It's fantasies about sweet kisses and caresses, things Sooyoung hasn't experienced before. She's had okay kisses. People hug her. She had a guy rub her thigh back in 8th grade while making out. That's about it. 

She can't imagine any of that stuff with Jungeun. It's too mediocre. 

What she _can_ picture is their fingers intertwining. Them lying in bed together— she's thought of that before. In her head, she's seen Jungeun on top of her quite a bit. She's thinking of it now and it's getting harder to gaze at her. Sooyoung's wonders if the ache between her legs is just there 24/7. The burn just gets more hot whenever she thinks of Jungeun. It just gets worse whenever Jungeun looks at her. 

It's not even frustrating. Not yet. 

“You said turn up here, right?”

“Um. Yeah.” she focuses on the road to realize they're turning into her neighborhood.

“You know, I really can't flirt well.”

“Are we confessing random things again?”

Jungeun coughs a laugh. The car is slowing down. She's looking for the blue mailbox, but it's several houses down. There's no need to be driving like this yet, but Sooyoung doesn't say a word. 

“I can't really flirt well, and I don't like playing games.”

“Do you think we're playing a game?” 

Jungeun stops the car. It's not her house. Not even close. All that food is going to come back up, Sooyoung's sure of it. Her heart is suddenly weighing her stomach down. So, why can she feel it in her throat? Jungeun must have the answer. She looks like she does.

“Do you?”

She doesn't know what the hell to say. Yes? Whatever they're doing, it's fun. It feels good. It must be a game. But they seem to feel differently about it. Jungeun looks a bit torn. 

“I'm attracted to you. Like, a lot.” Jungeun confesses before Sooyoung can find a proper answer to the question. 

She's surprised she has a voice as she responds, “Is that what this is?” 

“ _That?_ ”

“Attraction.”

“It is for me.” 

“It's… it's hard to explain, isn't it?”

“That,” Jungeun rests her arms on the steering wheel, “and it’s been driving me crazy.”

“Same.” 

“Good to know.” 

Normally, the silence is okay. But this feels weird. Sooyoung should say something. Anything will work. Does she really want to bring up what's suddenly plaguing her mind? Can she? Jungeun's lips are distracting. They've never been so much so before.

Fuck it.

“You should kiss me. Just to make sure.”

Jungeun is surprisingly cute with widened eyes, “Just to make sure…” 

Sooyoung just nods. 

The gear shift clicks loudly as the car gets put into park. Everything feels like it's moving in slow motion. Her seatbelt comes undone. Sooyoung doesn't hear it. The fingers brushing under her chin make everything mute. Jungeun’s gaze makes everything freeze. Time has definitely stopped, because she isn't moving forward. 

For the first time in a long time, Sooyoung is nervous about kissing someone. Yet, Jungeun's idleness is killing her from the inside. It's painful. 

She stops breathing for a different reason. A car horn echoes through the air. Jungeun doesn't even flinch, but Sooyoung feels like she's jumped ten feet in the air. The single car behind them ends up driving around. Just like that, the road is empty again.

Just like that, Jungeun isn't touching her anymore.

“Maybe that was a sign.”

Sooyoung scoffs, “For what?”

The car gets put back into drive and they're rolling again. Slowly, yet they end up in front of Sooyoung's house in the blink of an eye. Jungeun barely even looks her way as she speaks, “I'll see you at school, okay?” 

The moment is gone. 

But even with Jungeun's solemn smile and good-bye, Sooyoung's mood stays afloat.

It’ll happen again, she's certain.


	3. on the sides of you

When Jungeun disappears from the group, Sooyoung notices. She’s probably just going to smoke, but that look she gave means something. Sooyoung isn’t sure if she actually believes that or just wants to, but her feet move anyway. Everyone is too busy paying attention to Seeun and Eunji explain how to set up the tents to notice her slip away. She glances at Jiwoo before completely turning away. She hasn’t been as bubbly as usual. Her and Jungeun didn’t even sit on the bus together. 

It’s something she wants to bring up at some point, but the first thing she does once she stumbles upon Jungeun is smile.

“Eunji’s voice is so fucking annoying.” Jungeun casually mutters before taking a drag of her cigarette. 

The beaten path they’re on is off the trail. It’s practically running along the hill. Sooyoung doesn’t stand close to Jungeun, fearful her shoes won’t hold their own at such an angle. She slipped enough on the hike up here. She doesn’t plan on doing that in front of Jungeun. But, by the looks of it, Jungeun saw her at least once. An amused smirk takes her lips as she looks back once more, “Scared you’re gonna fall again?”

“Uh, yeah. I left my lunky, goth combat boots at home.”

Jungeun takes the jab with a laugh, “Come on. I won’t let you fall.”

Realizing that she trusts Jungeun leaves a good taste in her mouth and she focuses on that as she carefully steps down. Jungeun’s snickering. She can only imagine how stupid she looks. Her widened stance works, though. As soon as she gets next to Jungeun, she gives her a proud smirk. They’re close again. They haven’t been since the incident in her truck and Sooyoung’s eyes go straight to her lips. 

Jungeun looks elsewhere. 

Should they talk about it? Probably not, but Sooyoung can’t think about anything else now. What is talking about it going to do, though? They both know how they feel. There’s nothing  _ to  _ talk about. There’s only things to do, and Sooyoung has been through all of it so many times in her head already that she should be able to act on it easily. Something’s stopping her, though.

She knows what she wants, she thinks. That’s something, but acting on it is different. 

She’s never been in this situation before. She can imagine Jungeun having been. She’s sure she’s not the first girl to be like this over her. Whatever  _ this _ is… 

“I told Jiwoo that maybe we should take a break.”

With wide eyes, Sooyoung just studies her. She doesn’t seem that affected by it, unlike Jiwoo. 

“How did she react…?”

Jungeun shrugs, “She reacted.”

“Why do you wanna take a break?”

“I feel kinda guilty, I guess. That, and I’m just tired. That sounds bad, but I’m just being honest. I’ve been wanting to do something about it for awhile.”

She feels guilty. It’s because of her. Sooyoung knows that, but doesn’t that mean she should feel guilty too? Maybe not, because Jungeun hasn’t been happy with Jiwoo for awhile. That’s what she keeps implying. So, she shouldn’t feel guilty. Something won’t stop eating away at her mind, though. She isn’t sure what to say. 

“Sorry. That made things depressing, didn’t it?”

“What  _ isn’t _ depressing nowadays, honestly?”

“How angsty of you.” 

Sooyoung watches her bend down to put her cigarette out. It goes flying out into the woods. The evening sun is barely peeking through all the trees at this point. They were supposed to have the tents set up hours ago. Hiking, getting lost hiking, and then eating had put them way behind schedule. Even if she hadn’t been with Jungeun, Sooyoung would’ve been happy about having wandered off. It’s nice being away from all that. It’s just stress that she really wishes she hadn't signed up for. 

“Who are you sharing a tent with?”

“Uh… I’m not sure yet. Seeun, Eunji, and I all have our own tents technically. I just haven’t set mine up yet.”

“Special student government treatment, huh?” 

“You know it.”

Not like Sooyoung ever wants it to, but her heart  _ really  _ can’t beat out of her chest now. It’ll go rolling down the hill and she’ll never see it again. There’s so much brush and rocks— it won’t make it. But at least it’ll finally shut up and stop going into overdrive whenever Jungeun speaks a certain way. Sooyoung’s tempted to reach down her throat and just throw it herself. 

“Jiwoo and I had signed up to share one, but I think she’s gonna switch places with Namjoo. I don’t know if you know her or not.”

“I do not, but I guess that’s good, right?”

“Yeah.”

Sooyoung’s body knows when Jungeun is looking at her. Her head turns automatically to meet her gaze as Jungeun speaks up again, “You should do that when we get back to camp, set up your tent.”

That look from earlier definitely meant something. They walk back up to camp in silence. She’s glad Jungeun doesn’t try to start any kind of conversation, because Sooyoung has lost every word imaginable. She’s going to set up her tent. Because Jungeun told her to. Because Jungeun’s going to visit her later… Right? Of course that’s what’s fucking happening. 

Sooyoung  _ isn’t  _ stupid, but she’s suddenly scared. 

This isn’t her. It never has been. But maybe she’s been wrong about that the entire time. Who knows what Jungeun’s hinting at, honestly.  _ Sooyoung’s  _ the one assuming things here.  _ She’s  _ the one who’s been thinking about kissing Jungeun non-stop since Wednesday.  _ She’s _ the one who’s been fantasizing about Jungeun almost every night for the past month almost. 

Things are happening so fast. 

They’re  _ actually _ happening and she’s scared. But  _ fuck,  _ she wants this. As if she didn’t already know, that ache between her thighs is making itself a bit too well known as they head back to camp. Once they’re there, Sooyoung looks to Jungeun, unsure of what to say. Jungeun’s eyes meet hers and she’s suddenly incapable of saying anything anyway. 

“I’ll see you tonight.”

With that, Jungeun’s gone. Her basketball buddies welcome her loudly. Where’s Jiwoo? Sooyoung doesn’t put much effort into looking around for her. She has a job to do. Eunji and Seeun are talking amongst themselves, clipboards still in hand. They’re probably fused together at this point. They’ve been on top of things since they left the school this morning. Sooyoung should feel like a slacker, but she’s more relieved if anything.

“Hey, have you guys set up your tents?”

“Me and her are just sharing because I’m honestly too tired to even pull mine out the bag.” Seeun chuckles, “Do you want yours? It’s over near the coolers.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll set mine up.”

“Where did you run off to, by the way?”

Whatever appears on Sooyoung’s features must make her look guilty and she wants to hiss as Eunji’s brow rises in suspicion. 

“I, uh— I went to go talk to Jungeun. She hasn’t been feeling well. I wanted to check on her.”

“She seems fine to me.”

Sooyoung looks back to see Jungeun wrestling around with one of the other girls. It takes everything in her to  _ not _ roll her eyes at such terrible timing. What happened to Jungeun not being a people person?

“You know her and Jiwoo broke up?”

“I forgot they were even together.” Seeun chimes in, “They’ve been together forever.”

“Have they?”

“They’ve been together since junior year, I’m pretty sure.”

“The more you know, I guess.” Sooyoung mumbles, not too sure what to do with that information.

“We're gonna set up the bonfire pit in a minute. Spread the word.” 

Sooyoung is glad she can easily escape Eunji’s suspicious eyes. She doesn't want to have to explain what's going on with Jungeun to anyone. She doesn't even think she can. What's going on exactly? What do they have? It's definitely not  _ nothing _ , but she can't even begin to describe it. In a way, it's exciting. 

She doesn't even remember setting up her tent after she finishes it. It's dark now. Most of the girls are at the bonfire pit. Jungeun is sitting with some people Sooyoung doesn't know, but that isn't cooling off the desire to join her. Jiwoo being part of the circle isn't, either. But if she sits next to or near Jungeun, she knows that she's not going to be able to focus. Her head is already muddled enough. 

Setting boundaries for herself feels good, but she regrets sitting next to Yerim within seconds.

“It's  _ so  _ not fair that the camps are split. Too bad you're the only gay girl here. You could get lucky.”

“She's not the only gay girl.” Seeun laughs, “There's her, Jiwoo, and Jungeun. Haein is bi, right?”

“I'm bi too, actually.”

With wide eyes, she focuses on Jungeun. Her hand is awkwardly raised and an amused smile takes her lips as she meets Sooyoung's gaze. 

Seeun doesn't hesitate to ask, “Is that why you and Jiwoo broke up?” 

Different tones of “What?” come from several different people.

“We didn't break up. We're just taking a break.”

“That's called being broken up.”

Jiwoo's snarky statement gets rid of anymore interest about the two. She's  _ definitely _ bitter, and the thought of Jungeun's words from earlier makes Sooyoung laugh. Jiwoo doesn't like that and Sooyoung can't react to her glare or her words fast enough. 

“Yeah, I’m sure  _ you _ think it’s funny.”

Sooyoung just smiles back. She doesn’t know how to respond and doesn’t care enough to try. She wants to know how Jiwoo knows. Did Jungeun actually bring her up? Does Jiwoo actually think that  _ she’s _ the reason for their break? She doesn’t know how to handle drama. Her eyes go to Jungeun, who looks beyond sorry for Jiwoo’s actions. 

“I kind of do, yeah.” 

She regrets focusing on Jiwoo again. If she wasn't pissed off before, she is now. Some of the others are laughing, so Jiwoo’s scoff is barely heard. Sooyoung is still wondering why she said such a thing as Jiwoo gets up and heads off to her tent. Jungeun follows. 

_ That _ makes Sooyoung regret even giving Jiwoo the time of day. 

“Well, at least this trip isn't boring.” Seeun insists, still laughing with some of the others.

“ _ Anyway,” _ Eunha pipes up in an effort to change the subject, “Can we go ahead to the boys camp or are we gonna have to sneak off in the middle of the night?”

Everyone else moves on from the incident fairly quickly. Sooyoung's eyes stay drawn to Jiwoo's tent. What are they talking about? Is Jungeun actually trying to fix things or is she just trying to make the trip more enjoyable for them both? Jiwoo seems like the type to argue. Jungeun's probably just going along with everything.

Eunji is about five s’mores in when Jungeun comes back out of the tent. She catches Sooyoung's gaze and Sooyoung can't focus on something else fast enough. Her heart is thumping in her chest and it attempts to shatter her ribcage as she comes around to her seat. Jungeun's cigarettes invade her nostrils before a low voice does the same to her ear. 

“Let’s talk.”

She knows people are staring as she gets up, but she doesn't meet any of their gazes as she quietly leaves. She's on Jungeun's heels, unsure of where they're going. She's surprised when they get to her tent. The sound of Jungeun unzipping it fills the silence surrounding them. She insists Sooyoung go in first. 

It's her tent, but she suddenly doesn't know where to sit. Or how. She ends up bringing her knees to her chest as she sits close to the back on her pillow. Jungeun casually stretches out opposite of her, head down as she sighs. Sooyoung isn't sure what to say. Fuck. She messed up.

“That was unexpected.”

When Jungeun lifts her head to meet her gaze, she has a glint in her eye.

Maybe she hasn’t messed up.

“Did you like that?” she wonders, letting her relief show with a smile.

Jungeun just laughs in response.

It’s quiet again, but it’s different this time. Better.

“You guys were talking for a long time.”

“She likes to drag things out. Breaking up with her yesterday may not have been the best idea. I should have waited.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I would’ve felt really guilty hanging out with you.”

Riding on the comfort of knowing that things are just fine with them, she shrugs, “I mean, it’s not like we’re really doing anything. You don’t need to feel guilty about  _ hanging _ _out_ with me.”

“I guess not…”

Sooyoung feels insecure the longer she holds Jungeun’s gaze. It’s like she can read her mind. She knows exactly what she’s thinking. She knows that they both want to do things, things the both of them are too afraid to speak into existence. Somehow, that makes it easier for pressure to gather between her thighs. They don’t need to say anything. That’s how obvious it is.

And,  _ fuck _ , it’s going to drive Sooyoung crazy if she doesn’t do something about it.

She moves to sit on her knees and Jungeun’s eyes get bigger. Sooyoung scoots closer, hand hesitating as she reaches to push Jungeun’s legs open some. She’s able to get right between them and she’s towering over her due to the way she’s leaning back on her hands. Sooyoung’s never attempted to touch anyone with such dirty intent, yet somehow her hands know where to go. 

She can feel Jungeun’s ribs through her shirt as she holds her, letting her hands slowly trail lower along the curves of her waist.

Jungeun’s breaths have never been so audible before.

“Think we’ll get interrupted again?” 

The way Jungeun sits up and grabs her hips in response sets everything off like a chain reaction. Sooyoung feels like she leans in far too fast, but Jungeun meets her lips just as eagerly. She can taste those damn cigarettes on her mouth, but she likes it. She loves it. Jungeun kisses like how they smell, how they taste. Boldly. It’s a new experience, the way Jungeun tugs on her bottom lip with her teeth as she tries to pull away.

Sooyoung isn't even done yet. She's not sure where the sound even comes from but she whines in a mix of satisfaction and disappointment as she forces herself to end the kiss.

She feels like she can’t breathe, even after they separate. Forehead barely touching Jungeun’s, she can hear her heart in her ears. She can feel a new kind of burn between her legs, one warmer than Jungeun’s palms. They’re callous and now that they’ve slipped under her shirt, she never wants them to leave her skin. Thinking about them doing so is so frustrating that she’s tempted to ask Jungeun to never let her go. 

She feels like she can.

“I’m fucking sure.”

It takes a moment to comprehend Jungeun’s words and all she can do is laugh. 

“So fucking sure…”

Her hands are moving upwards. Her fingertips tickle her skin as they brush up under her bra strap. It’s natural, the way Sooyoung covers Jungeun’s lips with her own again just because. 

“I've been sure for awhile.” Sooyoung mutters against her mouth.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Sooyoung doesn't want to talk anymore. She's not content with just kissing, either. But when Jungeun's tongue comes into play, she becomes suddenly self-conscious. She's only made out with one other person before. Is she doing this right? Jungeun isn't pulling away. Her grip on her frame is actually getting tighter, holding her closer.

She must be doing  _ something _ right. 

Maybe. 


End file.
